Saturday, October 09, 2010

56 Worst/Best Analogies Of High School Students

Here are 56 Worst/Best Analogies Of High School Students, and some of them are actually witty, whether the wit was intended or not. Almost all of them are funny. Here're some samples:
  1. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
  2. “Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
  3. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
  4. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
  5. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
  6. He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes woo woo woo.
  7. The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
  8. Her eyes were shining like two marbles that someone dropped in mucus and then held up to catch the light.
  9. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
  10. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
  11. The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
  12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
  13. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
  14. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
  15. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  16. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  17. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  18. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  19. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
I was in stitches with some of these. :D

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